Another fucking mass shooting on US soil by a US citizen because GUNS.
At this point, all I can do is listen to David Rawlings’s version of I Hear Them All on repeat and bawl my eyes out.
Also, The Man in the High Castle and Moana are helpful. And so are liberal dashes of The Return of the King. (Audio recording, not the movie, for the love of all things holy.)
Here’s the deal, distilled down neat-like.
Guns will never ever save us.
The only damn thing that will save us is – and has always been – the beauty of the human spirit made manifest.
We need more art. We need more respected mothers.
We must be able to see spark and spirit in each other’s eyes, or we are lost.
And right now in America we can’t even look each other in the faces, much less recognize each other as humans. (Has it always been this way? I couldn’t say, but it seems like it.)
So many shrewd cowards in charge, moving so fast on purpose, spouting their self-serving propaganda, securing their power tighter and tighter around the necks of whoever they can rope in.
I am no different. I am no better. All I can do is fully see and then dismiss my own shrewd coward again and again and again.
And to do that, I connect to beauty. And to do that, I have to mourn its desecration. Because if I don’t, the sadness and horror turn into hate and haunting.
And hate and haunting are the currency and lifeblood of the shrewd cowards.
So here I am.
Hearing them all.
And bawling my eyeballs out.